Cereal, coffee and other things…

{Baltimore, MD - Bane’s House - “Coffee and Fruity Pebbles”}

As usual, I had woken long before the sun even thought about rising. I used to think this was something that old people did. Fortunately for me, my favorite coffee shop, not far from pop’s new place was open by five thirty in the morning every day. We had a new guest in the house, Zephyr Quin, the artist formerly known as ZQ. She was an interesting woman to say the least. I was hoping to be able to talk to her today about things around Mia and what exactly happened. Pop asked me not to press and I wouldn’t, she’s a guest in his home and I would never do anything to affect her feeling anything less than “at home”. So, today I’m extending an olive branch and a random act of kindness in hopes of greasing the tracks a little. With time and patience maybe she could tell me something that I didn’t know.

As I entered the house with the ice coffee, I could hear someone in the pantry, likely Zephyr so I continued towards the sound. The ringing of cereal in the glass bowl echoes down the hallway. I smile knowing that she found the fruity pebbles. Pop doesn’t keep breakfast cereal around, so I’d picked some up the night before. I wait in the foyer until I hear the television come on and then begin walking towards the sound of it. I could see the title screen of something called “Steven Universe” in the hall mirror. I smiled again, she was at least trying to make herself at home. The argument the night before was almost comical. Pop had a certain charm about him that I could never hope to duplicate. The argument was a quiet thing really, she finally caved and agreed to stay until she could get on her feet. It was almost a father and daughter type argument without the vitriol, or drama that one might expect.

This thought process left me with a bemused feeling as I entered the room. I say as I enter the room, “Steven Universe huh? Never checked it out before but I’ve heard good things.”. I try unsuccessfully not to laugh as she spits cereal back into her bowl. My peace offering is an iced coffee, the way she likes it. She accepts it, her expression is one of gratitude, and she says to me, “Thanks...I think.”. She then goes back to focusing on the television program and her cereal. I tend to pick the worst times to ask questions, I honestly think it’s in my dna. Growing up, I’d watched my mother do it thousands of times. You would think her oldest child would have learned something from that. Not me though, “Listen, Zephyr, I…”. She cuts me off with a single finger asking for a moment. Then the show is over and she sets her cereal bowl down on a coaster.

She grabs her coffee and takes a couple of sips, and then turns the television off. She folds her legs up and turns on the couch to face me. I do the same, sitting cross legged or “indian style” as it’s sometimes called. She begins, “ Sorry, I just wanted to finish watching before I got to work. Trying to work on pain management is a bitch lately. Turns out breathing is necessary for most things, and ribs are required for such things.”, she smiles then sipping more of her coffee. I return her smile, “No worries. Small pleasures always have to be enjoyed, no telling when they’ll show up again.”. We sat there awkwardly smiling at each other, it was important to me personally to try and get to know her. She was a good person at heart, a lot of the things she had done previously were out of her control. People could think what they wanted, I had faith in Zephyr, just like I had faith in Mia. The sisters had learned to survive, they learned it early and the hard way. Of that I had no doubt, even at this point not knowing much about them.

She looks meaningfully at me, taking a sip of her coffee she continues. In a quiet but direct way she says to me, “You want to know what happened the night Mia and Su took me, don’t you?”. She didn’t have to explain any of this but I was certainly appreciative of the fact that she was willing to open up to me, even just a little bit. “Right, exactly.”, is my response to her question. More importantly, I was concerned over her physical health, so I asked, “How are you feeling by the way?”. I can tell she’s still in a considerable amount of pain as she winces, when she draws her knees up tighter to her chest. She sighs, “Banged up, but better. I can move still and I’ve been able to move a lot better the more I work on managing my breathing. This however…”. She waves her hand still in a cast around, “Still needs a cast for at least another week. So says the medical team of Carnage Wrestling”.

Like me and everyone else not sponsored by a major company, she was responsible for all of that. I nod, knowing the hurdles that lay ahead for her. The red tape was a bitch sometimes. There’s silence for a moment, I’m not sure if she’s struggling to continue the conversation or has just simply “zoned out” due to the pain she was fighting, so I wait. She did eventually snap out of it and asked me a question that I was prepared for and knew it would come up. “ So about what happened. Why is it important to you to know? I’m not interested in going to the police, it will all get handled… Eventually. I… Look…”. I can tell she’s starting to panic and so I hold up my hands, hoping to calm her down. She does finally and takes a deep breath, so that I can answer her question and hopefully explain. Trying to mimic my father’s reassuring tone, “ I ask because Mia, as much as she doesn’t want to admit it, is family. I know that doesn’t mean much to many people and I’m sure the meaning has been squashed from you, I get that. That doesn’t change the fact that she needs as much help as she can get right now before she does something she’ll truly regret. I can’t help unless I know what happened.”.

Regardless of the recent bitterness and threats between Mia and myself, I still loved her like a sister. I knew that soon, the things I had said to her would require a conversation with a certain burlapped masked friend. He wouldn’t be happy, but he could suck it up. He wasn’t here helping, or even attempting to as far as I know. When she’s calm enough Zephyr continues, “Sorry.”. I nod and sit back giving her as much space as I can. “In all honesty it wasn’t as dramatic as people might imagine.”, she pauses only briefly, likely recalling the night in question. “Mia blames me, or myself and Su, for her descent into whatever place she finds herself in. We kind of… Instigated her by doing some of the same to try and convince her to join us and our benefactors. She was resistant right up until she turned… Into whatever she is. I don’t know much about what made her snap, just that she went to some secret location she used to know about. She saw Ataxia there with that Rishel guy she goes on about hating. After that…Well….”.

She pauses but I don’t interrupt, I want her to finish telling me about Mia. “So yeah, she blames me for that one. I say this because this all happened before Su tried to attack me.”. This surprises me, “Tried?”. She nods solemnly before continuing. “Yeah. See, Su and I were part of a secret order called The Friends of Paracelsus. We were taught that any kind of incursion, like what I’ve committed for instance, would be met with severe punishment. One such thing was to be given some sort of injection that I’m not exactly sure what it would do honestly. Su tried to get me with it while I was tied to a chair and Mia had Jynx stop her. She got pissed, disowned Mia and me, and stormed off into the night…”. She closes her eyes, the pain of losing her twin is obvious. I know how I’d feel if I lost Aeric or Jules in this fashion, the pain in her heart and soul must be intense. Zephyr continues, “ Sorry. There’s a lot here that I have yet to full get a grip on. Lots to figure out and see if I even fit into the world at this point. I used to think, believe, that I was indestructible.”.

I’m very familiar with that feeling of being unbeatable, like the world cannot possibly touch you. She wasn’t however done with that thought, “Look at me now. Everything in ruins and I get to figure out if I have what it takes to rebuild myself into someone worth a damn.”. I’m not sure if it’s anger or frustration, but she quickly unfolds herself and heads towards the kitchen. I hear the water running as she cleans her dishes. I remark to myself, “Everyone has value Zephyr.”. She returns shortly after that sitting at the opposite end of the couch, her level of pain still on display. I posed this question to her, hoping I could help her figure it out, “So what about you and Mia? How do we repair the damages she thinks are done?”. She smiles, and likely appreciates the sentiment behind it. She shakes her head, indicating to me that she’s not sure it’s even possible. “ I’m honestly not sure. When Su and I took her to that basement, I looked into her eyes and saw everything that you did when you met her, when you call her your “family.” When I looked her in the eyes the last time I saw her?.”

Zephyr continues after briefly closing her eyes, “ I’m honestly not sure. When Su and I took her to that basement, I looked into her eyes and saw everything that you did when you met her, when you call her your “family.” When I looked her in the eyes the last time I saw her?.” She looks into my eyes now, obviously seeing my own concern, “There aren’t many things that I can think of that I would say “fear” me. It was an emotion that the Friends frowned upon and chased away using whatever methods they could think of. It isn’t anything that I’ve felt since I was still riding a bike with tassels and training wheels. Don’t laugh….” We both smile at her attempt at light hearted humor. I appreciated that in that moment more than she likely realizes. “Whatever is happening to Mia and whatever is fueling her now… That’s what scares me. I was a scary individual, but this is something that I never thought I’d be dealing with. I don’t get it and everything about it terrifies me to the core. This isn’t what I wanted Jimmy. I wanted my sister, I wanted to have my family back. This isn’t what I wanted”.

I listen as her voice trails off, she slides back into silence resting her head on her knees again. I take that as my cue to let her be, I turn the television back on to the next episode of “Steven Universe”. “Thanks”, she says quietly. I nod and lean back just allowing the television show to suck us both in.

Fade

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{Baltimore, MD - later that day - “An honest conversation”}

The smell of new furniture and leather was still very strong in this room. I smile as I catch a whiff of Dad’s cologne. “Invictus” as I recall. Just like when I lived with him on the ranch, his studio is where I would go to find my center. Even when I was a kid, this was my own personal safe zone. I’ve often wondered why that is, why can I not find this in other places. Places of my own making? It’s him, he’s always made us feel safe. Then why did I try so hard, growing up, I tried to be anything but who he is as a person. That selfish act in itself caused me far more harm than good. It’s the reason I’m not a brawler in the ring. Well, that and I’m only six feet tall. For a long time I used the excuse that my grandfather's style, a more technical style, suited my body type more. It was all just internal smoke and mirrors for a kid that loved his father but wanted desperately to do things his own way and not mimic a man that was considered a legend in this business by some.

I lean forward with the camera remote in my hand and press the record button. I wait for the red light to come on(yes, it’s a very old one), then I set the controls for it aside. I sit there rubbing my hands together. Then after I’m sure that I have my train of thought together I begin.

“The last time that Mia and I were face to face, there was something strange and different. Her sister Zephyr pointed it out to me earlier. I had not quite put my finger on what exactly it was that was different. The words being spoken, were spoken by the same person that I’ve known for several years. The face is the same, the same facial expressions, the same stance. The difference is that and I don’t know if y’all have watched the eyes of a shark on these documentaries or not. It’s the eyes, the eyes of Mia Rayne are now devoid of spark or emotion. I’m not talking about the hate that’s there.

I’m talking about the eyes of a killer, a black void, a place where emotions go to die. That being said, when I think about the bitterness she came at me with. The accusations, the threats, the pure molavelance that resonated with those words. I take them very, very seriously. I hope like hell that JC reinstates you at some point. We may not be family by blood Mia, but ALL of The Forsaken still love you and worry about you. I’m not even going to attempt what you did to me and play the guilt game. That would depend on my trying to reach you at an emotional level. That would depend on my ability to break through the programming or the drugs they’ve fed you. Not that I don’t have it in me to do so, but I feel as though it will take someone far closer to you than myself to break through.

You talked a lot about things that were before I joined the rest of the group. Your time as Shad’s partner and capturing tag team gold with him. My admiration for that man is well documented and I certainly didn’t need it thrown back in my face. There are many men that I admire in this business for many of the same reasons. Take my Uncle Ken for example. Well, maybe that’s not a good example these days. I really have no idea what turned him into a titanic douchebag or a douche canoe as my friend Dorian would say. I really don’t have time to go into that, just had to be said. I think it’s probably time that I start making some phone calls to people who matter the most to you. This has gone on long enough Mia, I don’t know what it will take to bring you back around but I’ve got to try. I’ve spent far too much time talking about you, now I have to focus on my opponent for this show.

I’ve fought a lot of men and women in this business over the years, but I’ll be honest with you, none of them have been like Angel. Mr. Panic is from all outside appearances an honorable man. Look at the way he conducts himself. He carries himself with pride, a man who prides himself on standing on his own two feet. He needs no one. In turning down “The Reason”, you’ve given yourself more credibility in the eyes of everyone in this company. That may not mean much to you at this point but it should as you continue to climb your way up the proverbial ladder towards your goal.

You seem to have a moral compass that most in this company and business seem to lack. You operate using ethics and good judgement. These are all things that are very refreshing to me. These are also items that elicit the emotion of admiration and respect from me. I don’t give that often but please take that as you will. At the end of the night, this is about you and I fighting for a shot at my father and that Baltimore City Championship. Make no mistake about it Angel, it’s going to be a fight.

I don’t believe in backhanded compliments, so the words spoken by me today are as true as you’ll find on this roster. You have my admiration and respect for the man you are. I’ll take nothing away from you, the talent level is obvious. Your fire and determination are also obvious. Thing is though, you’re in my way Angel. If anyone is going to take that belt from the old man, it’s going to be yours truly. See, I’m not Danny. I’m not going to sit here and tell people they won’t care about what I say. I know they do and it’s important to touch on why. They get tired of the old people smell around Carnage, most of these fuckers have long since passed their expiration date. Because, old wrestlers don’t die, they just smell that way. That, though, is not what we are here to talk about.

Me and You, Angel. A pair of men who defeated people who were just trying to hang on, they couldn’t though could they? Too fast and too young for them to keep up with. You probably noticed how quickly my match against Steele was right? I don’t sit around and wait for my opponent to make a mistake Angel, I force them into it. I create my own opportunities, regardless of who I’m in the ring against. I won’t pretend like I know what you’ll do Angel, I’m neither that naive or arrogant. Well, maybe that arrogant but not today. No, today is about what a damn shame it is. It’s a shame that there won’t be a live crowd to watch us pull out all the stops we try to earn that title shot. I could say that I hope it’s you, but that would be a lie. I want to be the one that takes that title off of him. Call it fate, destiny or knowing your interview style, you’ll likely call it bullshit. I’m okay with that, it doesn’t take away from what I believe to be true.”

I sit back and hit the stop button with the remote once again, ending the video capture of my promo. I would rewatch it a few times before sending it in but I was happy with it overall.

Fade.