My Act of Defiance

“i felt her absence. it was like waking up one day with no teeth in your mouth. you wouldn't need to run to the mirror to know they were gone”

― James Dashner, The Scorch Trials

{Post Chaos}

I really should have been out looking for Mitaxia, the fact that she wore my son’s face tonight still made me angry. I’m no stranger to the latex masks that Ataxia or Jon Stewart used on such a regular basis back in the day. She, however, had taken this to another level. It’s like she knew the modus operandi of the men in burlap as I liked to call them. They were not inherently evil to my knowledge, even with all of the antics they seemed to have a line they wouldn’t cross. Mia, didn’t seem to possess that same sense of honor. There was something going on there but I didn’t have the time or the patience to Sherlock that shit out. I had bigger fish to fry after all.

I stood near the entrance to the arena thinking about my upcoming match with Amber, I’m staring at a promotional poster. It’s Jack’s visage that stands front and center. I have mad respect for the entire group that is Paragon. So what is it about Jack that makes me want to punch him in the mouth? Then it hits me, “It’s that fucking Ron Jeremy vibe he puts off!”. “That fucking nineteen seventies porn star mustache! I’ll bet he even has a red vinyl couch!” “Or maybe it’s because he’s been world champion for over a year?”, comes the deep voiced reply of the owner of Carnage. Bridges tries to extend his hand to me, even though I don’t want to, I shake the man’s hand briefly.

“Well Mac, at least you haven’t lost your manners.”, he gives me a meaningful look. My reply is probably a little more curt than is necessary, “My religion however is still up for debate. Let’s not pretend that we like each other. It’s really a waste of breath and energy poorly spent.”, I return his meaningful look. “That’s fair.”, is all he says as he walks away. I look back at the promotional poster, “Act of Defiance won’t look any different when they put it up either.”. I think to myself, that’s okay though. Jack had earned his time in the spotlight. The man was over fifty, had incredible conditioning and could withstand a lot of punishment. He was going to be tough to beat no matter who he faced. They would have an uphill battle.

“Looking towards the future Mr. Bane?”, the voice always seemed to match the face. Belle Silva was a damn good reporter and a kind soul. A striking woman, no doubt about that but always professional. “You could say that, and of course thinking about the battle in front of me.”, was my simple and direct response. Belle,”A lot of people don’t think you have much of a chance against Amber Ryan. Why do you suppose that is?”, she asks. I smile at her, then responding in the same even tone, “I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’ve held no titles here in Carnage. Talking about the past and the things I’ve done in other places...They really don’t matter much to The Legion or to the folks here in the back. Rightly so. Every day you have to prove yourself between those ropes.”, I pause there and smile again. “People expect your very best night in and night out.”. She nods accepting my answers, “How much stock do you put in Amber’s first title win here in Carnage?”. “I put a lot of stock in it, I don’t believe in flukes. The fact that she never lost that title. That matters, she had to give it up because of injury from what I remember.”.

Bell looks thoughtfully at me, “Just one more question for you.”. I nod my head again smiling, “Go ahead.”. “The people you’ve faced to this point, Mitaxia and Eli Goode, does that prepare you in any way for the fight ahead.” I arch my right eyebrow in response to the question, “No, not in the least. The things that prepare me for the fight ahead are my past times in the ring with Amber. I’ve beaten her once, in the previous tournament to crown a number one contender. Those are the experiences that prepare you for success. Those are the things that teach you how to dethrone a champion.”. I smile, “I’m sorry Belle, I’ve got a flight to catch. Thank you for the time.”. She smiles and we shake hands as I make my way toward my Harley.

Fade

{Dallas, Texas - the next day - The Paradigm Gym}

Even when I’m on the road I had continued with my speed and endurance training. It was a constant thing for me now, to get better, to do more than I had before. I was driven, I had a goal and nothing less would satisfy my hunger. Lindsey evidently notices this as the second session comes to a close, “you’ve been working hard at this, it shows.”. I smile at the compliment, “Thanks, and yes, I’ve been working hard. I don’t feel like it’s enough but I’m a work in progress.”. She laughs, “We all are, Mac.”. I smile, feeling a little foolish and get back to it. Session number three ended much like session number two had the previous visits to the gym. The exhaustion and the burn I felt took less time to recover. The other thing that became more obvious to me was the definition I was regaining. No one will ever accuse me of being a bodybuilder but it was definitely coming back to where I had been several years ago.

She nods at me, throwing me my towel, “That’s all the time I have for today Mac, you can continue to work, unfortunately I do have somewhere I’m supposed to be soon. I nod at her and we shake hands, “Thank you again Lindsey, I’m sorry if I kept you here too long.”. “No apology necessary, not at all.”, She replies as she heads to the locker room. I walk around for my cooldown and grab my phone from the bench nearby. Twitter had become a bit of a fascination of mine as of late. That’s when I saw a reply to a post I had made earlier, from Amber Ryan, I knew she had at one point disappeared from social media altogether. Instead of trading barbs or insults, I think we achieved a greater understanding of each other. I do believe we had reached an accord of sorts. That was fun to do, but I held no delusions about that. We were not friends or buddies, it didn’t work that way with her. That took time and patience, similar to the way people had to approach me.

“Aww, that’s cute pops, you made a friend.”, was the smartassed commentary from my son. I glared at him, “Aeric…”. He holds up his hands in mock surrender, “Easy pops, just here to pick up someone.”. It was then that I noticed that my seven foot spawn was actually dressed nicely for a change. I shook my head in dismay, “Couldn’t be, no way her taste is that bad.”. Sadly I was wrong as Lindsey came out at that moment. Aeric held out his arm and she hooked hers through his before giving him a kiss. I looked back and forth between the two and sighed audibly. “Aeric, try not to fuck this up.”, was my only comment as I turned and walked back towards the locker room. I distinctly heard Lindsey laugh and Aeric cuss a few choice words at my back. That made me smile.

Fade.

{Fort McHenry - Baltimore, MD - a few days before Act of Defiance}

As was the norm in this business I had been asked to come to the site of the pay per view and cut a promotional video to hype the match. They certainly didn’t need me to hype this match. My match with Amber had been trending on twitter since the night it was announced. Here I was anyway, just doing what I needed to. I don’t wear slacks often but I did today, black slacks, purple silk shirt and a black sports coat.

I approached the sound stage that they had set up, it really was more of a low budget thing but we deal with the cards we’re dealt. I take the time to shake hands with the production crew and a tip of my black stetson to the ladies nearby. Manners and etiquette are a thing with me. You really have to fuck up with me to get anything but that. So I approach the boom microphone, give the thumbs up to the operator. Then a thought occurs to me, and I look around and find a folding chair nearby. I grab that, opening it, I set it on the “x”. I lean back and cross my arms in front of my chest. The production crew is rolling, videoing the whole thing and I motion for the mic operator to lower the boom. He gets it in place and I begin.

“You know folks, I’ve been doing this for a long time. Most of these young people you see around this set? They watched me on television when they were growing up. Ask them if they remember a time growing up when a match drew as much attention as this finals match has drawn. Not just from local sports writers but even ESPN covered this match and the implications of it.” I look around and see several of the people gathered around nodding their head, they had seen it too. “Recently on social media, Amber and I had an exchange of words. They were kind and respectful words. They were the truth. I have zero reasons to lie to anyone about anything.”.

I take up the bottle of water nearby and unscrew the lid, “I’m not going to stroke anyone’s ego or paint a picture with anything other than pure color.” I pause there and take a drink. “I won’t try and bullshit you either Amber. Our match will be something this up and coming generation of wrestlers will aspire to. You said you wanted my opinion on you? I’ve already done that on social media but I’ll do it again here in front of these people and every single person who gets an opportunity to see or hear this. You are pound for pound one of, if not, the best fighter I’ve ever faced.”. With the lid still off I take another drink, “I told you I liked you because you fight for what you believe in. I like you for your fire and your ambition. I like you because you’ll fight like hell to get back what you never lost. I like you because you go through life with your hair on fire.”. I replace the lid and start to tighten it back down.

“But Amber, more important than all of that, I respect you for your in ring ability. Your athleticism is pretty fucking phenominal. Not to mention your willingness to fight whoever stands across from you, blocking your goals. That my dear is what I think of you. Honest words, because that is who I am. It’s who I’ve always been.” I set the water bottle down on the table once more, and stand up. “I won’t stand up here and lie and say it doesn’t matter which of us wins and goes on to face Jack. It does matter, it matters a hell of a lot to both of us. It doesn’t matter more to you because you never lost the title. It does matter more to me as I start creeping towards retirement, knowing how rare these opportunities are.” I reach down and fold the chair up and put it back where it belongs. This will be our fourth time in a ring together, not our third, the first was the previous tournament. I beat you, the second time was a tag match. I got my team disqualified. The third was war games, we didn’t interact much in that one.”

Still standing under the boom microphone, my gaze never changes, my best poker face. “My won-loss record is not as stellar as yours. There are holes in my in-ring game that you can exploit if you know what to look for. What makes me think I can beat you a second time? Mostly because I’ve done it before Amber. You said no one on the roster had ever been able to do that. Kudos to you, but I’m not them and they are not me. You’ll find that out soon enough.”. A tip of stetson once again and I leave the stage. The production people are all smiling as I walk by. I return their smiles, even though I know they are fake smiles they give. It was time to make a quick trip to Florida, I still had some time to kill and didn’t really feel like flying again right now. I needed something and the gulf coast had it in spades.

Fade.

{The Gulf Coast of Florida - The next day}

The motor of my Harley Fatboy was still warm to the touch even though it had been sitting for a couple of hours. It was a mostly cloudy day, not a hot day by any stretch of the imagination. I had changed into cutoff jeans before riding down here from the hotel. My body still screamed with pain from the fight against Mitaxia and her sisters but being here today would help. It wouldn’t help with the physical pain, my mind was what needed the break from the business. My soul was exhausted and needed to be recharged. I still had so much to do and so much to say, but that would have to wait for a bit. I stepped onto the warm sand and began to walk along the shore until I found a quiet spot and sat down. It didn’t take long before a couple of seagulls interrupted my peace. They were likely looking for food. I took out my phone and smiled, I took a picture of the scenery. I posted it on twitter with something about me relaxing for a change.

I had been pleased with the progress I had made over the past few months with my conditioning. My reflexes were better than they had been in a long time. More serious muscle tone and definition were returning to what they had been at one time. It was good to feel something other than regret. Something other than grief. My phone buzzed as I finished my twitter exchange with Joe and Lucy. It was a text from Dan the man I had given tickets to for the last show.

Mac, thank you again for your kindness. Spending time with you and being able to talk about similar situations helped a great deal. Josh is still kinda bummed that you beat Eli but he wishes you the best against Amber.

I smile to myself, “Imagine that, a good deed that went unpunished.”. I stood up and started trying to work the kinks out of my back and began walking back towards my fatboy. I stopped by one of the shops on the boardwalk. They had allowed me to change when I first arrived. So I stop there again, rinse and repeat. I buy a sponge docks t-shirt in exchange for their kindness. I always try to frequent local businesses over chains, which makes more sense to me. I always try to give back to the communities that have given me so much. Now in my ripped jeans, t-shirt and jacket. I made my way back to my bike. A couple of young guys are standing near it as I walk up to it. I tighten the straps of my backpack as I swing my right leg over the seat.

“Oh, an old dog huh?!”, then the kid spits at my feet. I pause before grabbing the helmet, “excuse me?”, is my response. “Just another one of those old bastards, going through a midlife crisis. You buy a bike and all of a sudden you’re a tough guy.”, he then spits at my feet again. I look up at him and smile, “Kid, I think you probably watch too many movies and too much television for your own good.”. He tries to bow up on me but I’m off the bike so fast it causes him to stumble backwards. His buddies catch him, preventing his fall but he shrugs them off. I set the helmet down and put my hands on my hips. “What was it that Amber said about me? She said I was hard….well, if you’re going to be a dick, you really should be hard.”, I glared at the trio of punks. “Look boys, I was riding before any of you were born. More importantly I was starting bar fights before any of you were born. I’m going to be forty five years old in December. There’s a reason I’m this fucking old, you feel me?”, I leave it hanging there.

After a few tense moments they decide that discretion is the better part of valor and leave me alone. The young lady, and I use that term loosely, finally got tired of watching and struts across the street towards me. “You handled them pretty easy, you want some company?”, I look her up and down. The makeup is too heavy and the perfume too much, that much perfume is usually hiding something. Definitely something I don’t want to carry around with me the rest of my life. “Sorry hun, you caught me between pay days.”. With that I start the fatboy up, she had tried to say something but I rev the engine drowning her out.

Fade

{Voice Only}

I respect you far too much to throw shade at you for the things you’ve said. I know you believe what you’ve said with all of your broken heart. You call yourself broken. Whether you choose to believe it or not. You’re not alone, we are all a little broken. We’re just broken people living in a broken world. No, you’re not alone and like you said, you’re not perfect. There’s a bonus in not being perfect Amber, the last person that was, well, they nailed him to a tree. Or so the story goes. Neither of us is at one hundred percent going into this and we won’t be coming out of it either. We both live on the edge of reason, always teetering the wrong way. We are people that are reckless and without remorse. We fight for what we believe in, right or wrong, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the fucking fight.

Noxious Fury in your heart? No ma’am, that’s fire and determination. It’s the fuel for that ass kicking machine that is Amber Ryan. No one doubts your credibility in the ring, if they do it’s only because they aren’t paying attention. You’d do well to remember who you’re in the ring with though Miss Ryan. The way you’ve been talking about me, it’s almost as if you’re looking past me. That my dear would be a huge mistake. See, just because I’ve never held a title here doesn’t mean I’ve never held a title. Your confidence is inspiring if not for it being misplaced. There is nothing outside of your own fake swagger that says you can beat me.

That’s the thing though, you have to prove it to me, to Jack, to all of them. You have to prove that you can beat me. Just like your little buddy Eli, you have one last major fucking obstacle to overcome.

Me.

It’s just little old me. The guy who’s passed his prime and is nothing more than a mid card bully at best and at his worst, main event fodder right? You mock my manners and the way I interact with others. I’m old school Amber, I was raised in this business and anything less than that. That would be a black mark on my family's legacy. My family has a long legacy in this industry, I don’t have to set an example for my son. I raised him up in wrestling the same as my father did for me. We show this industry and the people in it the respect they deserve. When they actually deserve it. I do the things I do, mostly because it’s the right thing to do.

Bridges doesn’t pay people to do the right thing though does he? No, he’s probably salivating at the thought of you and I trying to kill each other again. I doubt this will be the last time you and I face off, probably just another of many yet to come. I could take the low road here and ramble about your relationship with Jack and how you would never actually try to take the belt off of him. That would be hardly fair or honest words would it? I know you have far too much pride for that. Professional pride burns bright in you, but neither you or Jack has to worry about that. They call this Act of Defiance for a reason kid.

This will be mine.