Shattering The Looking Glass

“Really, now you ask me,” said Alice, very much confused, “I don’t think—”

“Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter. —Chapter 7, A Mad Tea-Party"

This is what happens when you talk the talk, but can’t walk the walk. For all of your bragging, posturing and threatening, you came up empty. So, I guess, in a way, your ring name fits you well. The thing that doesn’t really fit you well at all is social media. Maybe The Reason should take away your access to twitter. It must be really quite embarrassing for him to see you get owned on a daily basis by this simple minded Texan. Every fucking day I own your ass on social media and in the ring I did the same damn thing. I found it funny that you did the usual “bad guy” thing and called it a minor set back and declared that this was far from over. Honest words; it was over before you even stepped into the ring with me. You made the same mistake that everyone not named Amber Ryan has ever made with me.

See, everyone else assumes when they step into the ring with me that I’m just a simple minded fool that only knows how to fight. She knew differently and approached it differently, that’s why she won against me. That and she’s one hell of a good fighter, I’ll be the first one to admit that she was better on that night. I was never ashamed of that loss, she proved herself to the world once again what a lot of us already knew. She’s ready and she is more than capable of taking her world title back. Isolation is going to be interesting, we know what the main event is but how will the rest of it shake out? Who the hell knows but one thing I do know, I’m pulling for Amber in that main event. No offense Jack but you’ve had more than your share of time in the spotlight. It’s time for fresh blood to hold that title and rep this company.

The Empty claims he’s found a kindred spirit, there are few who can say that about myself. They’re around, even in Carnage, even when I’m running in lone wolf mode, I’m never really alone. The Reason and The Empty have a lot to prove to The Legion and to anyone who is watching. I said it before and I’ll say it again.

I will always make sure that I am in your way.

You and people like you pose a threat to this company.

You will not be tolerated.

Your very existence is an affront to decent human beings.

This will not stand.

You and those like you will not be allowed to stay.

Your only warning.

The next monster up is what I’m concerned with. She had the gaul to rename a title. She calls the Baltimore Championship by something other than what it should be called. I won’t even say the name she changed it to. ZQ or Alice in this instance, like The Empty, you’re full of shit. You rely on the numbers game to win your matches. I’ve walked that path before and I know how to fight it. Shit girl, when I was your age I was wrecking factions not forming them. You have Su and Mia to watch your back. I have nothing against that, I mean why come to the ring by yourself and actually earn something? I mean, if you did it that way it might actually give you some credibility as a champion. Can you imagine what that would feel like?

Would you even know how to act? To have that sense of accomplishment? To feel like for the first time in your life, you accomplished something, something that you didn’t have help with. That you did completely on your own without the aid or assistance of your sisters. Your credibility and sense of accomplishment would soar. The euphora would last a long time indeed. I know all of these things because I live it every day. Yes, this crotchety old bastard from Texas lives by a moral code and I always have. I know, these days, in these crazy times we live in. It must sound very strange to hear those words. Everyone is out for themselves and has their own agenda. I do too, don’t get it twisted. My agenda is a lot different than most. Where you have Jack and Paragon who would love to see Carnage on a bigger stage. I’m not for that, I believe that a company like we have should be allowed to mature at its own pace.

I’m very much about tradition my dear. You renamed that belt...that got under my skin in a big way. So, that being said, I’m going to take that off your hands so you’re not burdened with it. You may have won it, but it doesn’t belong to you. That title belongs to The Legion. That title belongs to this city. As of Chaos number eighty nine that title belongs to me.

{Post Chaos - Baltimore MD}

Off-Camera

I leaned up against the wall after helping Amber to the trainer’s room. I shake my head, not in disgust or dismay but in confusion. Did I really just do that? Did I really just kiss that woman on the forehead and tell her that I liked her, more than a little? Yes, I did that, and I did it in front of her best friend to boot. I stare at the ground continuing to think about what just happened, was it possible I got swept up in the moment? Did I really like her that much? As I go through these thoughts in my head, I barely notice the pair of pink and black chucks with matching pink and black socks. To the left of that is the paws of Cuyon. The puppy starts jumping up and barking her cute little bark. I smile and scoop the little furball up. I look at my daughter standing there with a huge shit eating grin on her face. She gives me a fake little smart assed curtsey, “You’re welcome”. She says as she continues to smile. “For?”, is my snarky response to my barely eighteen year old child. “Oh, you know, guiding you in the right direction.” is her smug response. I bark a short laugh, “Yep, definitely my child, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree with this one. Lord help us all.”.

Still beaming and obviously very happy with herself comes the next question. “So, when are you going on your first date?”. “I was close, so close. Now you’re acting like your brother, trying to paint a picture with crayons.”, I kicked off the wall still holding the puppy. “I love your enthusiasm for my love life Jules, but we don’t even know if she would want to.”. She runs to catch up and keep the puppy from choking. I look at her and then the leash she’s still holding onto. Then I look at Cuyon, “Sorry kid, here, let’s just put you back down.”. I set the dog back on the ground, and continue on my way towards the exit. Jules and Cuyon catch up pretty quickly and she blurts out, “And you won’t know until you ask Daddy!”. I stop, “I know sweetheart, I think the last thing she needs right now is someone asking her out on a date, she has a huge match to prepare for.”. I don’t know if I was trying to convince her or myself, even the dog was not convinced of my sincerity.

Jules looks at me and sets her jaw, “Don’t you want to know?”. I hesitate, only for a moment, “Look Jules, I’d love to ask her but I’m trying to be respectful of her time. If that makes sense?”. She relaxes her jaw and then it’s her shaking her head in dismay, “Sadly it does, I never thought I’d understand your generation but I do on this one.”. I stop walking suddenly, which almost causes Jules to run into me. I look back the way I came thinking here you are running away from something promising again, “Fuck it, you wanna meet a future champion?”. I’ve never heard my daughter squeal with delight, well not since she was twelve. I motion for her to come on and I head back towards the trainer’s room. We arrived in time, Kyra and Amber were just coming out of the trainer’s room. “Hey Amber, got a minute?” Amber and Kyra both turn around as I come up with the dog and my daughter, who is over the moon happy right now. I take the leash from Jules. “There’s someone I would like for you to meet.”. I slap my leg and Cuyon obeys coming up to my side. Cuyon cocks her head to the side as Amber and Kyra approach. She sees Amber and starts wagging her tail so hard it’s almost causing her entire backside to wag. “Cuyon, meet Amber Ryan.”, I say as if the puppy can understand me.

An excited bark and Cuyon charges Amber with all that cuteness, it made me throw up in my mouth a little. My daughter nudges me hard enough in the ribs that I grunt in pain. “Oh, and this is my daughter Jules.”. I say as I rub my ribs a little. Jules nudges me again, this time more gently, remembering the damage to my ribs from earlier. I watch as Amber scratches Cuyon behind the ears and can’t help but smile. I still feel a little nervous being around her in a setting that’s not in the ring. I look up and I see Kyra, who cannot wipe the grin away from her face if she tried. Then I look back over at my baby girl who’s covered her mouth and then turns around looking the other way. “I know we can’t go for that ride we talked about earlier, at least not yet, how about dinner instead?”. This was the third time in one evening that I had surprised her, that was evident on her face. She was a hard woman to read, she stopped scratching the puppy behind it’s ears, the look she gave me was somewhere between confusion and consternation. She seemed conflicted as she started three different times to answer me. She looks up at Kyra who is vigorously nodding her head, then back at me, “Is this a date?”, she asks me. I look back at her and smile, “I’m not sure, but maybe that’s a good thing.”. A nervous smile crosses her face and in that moment, she resembles the way my insides feel at the moment. “Yes.”, she states it simply and I can’t help but smile. The collective “Yes!” from Kyra and Jules make us all laugh for a moment. I catch Jules with the fist pump out of my peripheral and see the same motion from Kyra, “Tomorrow night then? Around eight?”, I ask and she nods her head, “yes, I think i’d like that.”.

Fade

{Baltimore, MD - The next evening - Undisclosed Hotel Lobby}

Off-Camera

Sitting by myself in the hotel lobby, I could smell the mingling aroma’s of the different foods that had been prepared. The manager of Ruth’s Chris had been more than willing to accommodate my request. The staff had brought everything with them, and they also certified that the hotel’s kitchen was suitable for the task at hand. So here I sat, starched jeans, button down shirt. My hat lay on a table next to the one I sat at. Hell, I even trimmed up my beard, so I didn’t look so rough around the edges. The thought that kept running through my head is that I hadn’t been on a date in over twenty five years. I was about to sit down and have dinner with a woman, who up until a few nights ago, the only interaction we had was trying to beat the crap out of each other. What in the actual hell was I thinking?

I continued to nurse the water I was drinking, catching out of the corner of my eye one of my children. They tried to play all innocent and shit but I knew they couldn’t resist the opportunity to spy on their father. “No, this won’t be fucking awkward at all.”, I say to myself and chuckle. My comment raised the eyebrows of more than a few of the staff, they simply smiled at the crazy man and continued to work. In the back I knew they were still prepping and the staff out front, all two of them continued to wait patiently for Amber to arrive. My back was to the door, and so I didn’t know how long she had been there, I almost choked on my water when I heard the sigh. She laughed at me of course and came around into my view. I stood up to greet her and pulled a chair out for her to sit down. She sat and I pushed the chair in for her. The staff went to work, offering her water and an assortment of other adult beverages. I’m grateful in a sense that she asks for water, “Sweet tea for me.”, and they scurry off to get what was asked for. Leaving two people alone and staring at each other. She smirks, “Well?”, I smile, “Well indeed. I don’t think I could have planned this to be more awkward than it is.”.

She returns the smile, “During the middle of a pandemic, we sit here about to eat...whatever it is they are preparing back there.”. I grunt my agreement, “We are just one of their stops today actually. Just one of many.”. Unknown to Amber I had arranged for similar meals to be done for no less than half a dozen homeless shelters around Baltimore. Not a fan of singing my own praises. This seems to pique her interest but then the waiter returns, “Madam, may we take your order?”, he asks politely. She goes back to studying the menu and I return to studying her. The barely audible giggling was caught by both of us, she smiles, “Your daughter?”. I smile, “and likely both boys.”. I motion to the waiter, he arrives in short order, “Could you please secure that door so prying eyes will have a tougher time spying on us?”. He smiles and quickly goes and shuts the doors to the restaurant. My phone, which lays on the table vibrates, I catch the preview of the text message as it comes through, “Not cool Daddy!”. I smile, taking my phone I put it in “airplane” mode. I hand it to the waiter who puts it on the bar by my hat.

She continues to study the menu, and I continue to study her. She’s a beauty, no doubt about that, but there’s something more to her. There’s a fire there in her eyes, a drive to be the best. It’s one of the many things that I found attractive in her since day one. She makes her selection from the menu and the waiter leaves to put it in. “You’re not eating?”, she asks. “I am, they already know me, and so they already knew what I wanted.”, I reply with a smile. The other thing that makes me smile is the lack of makeup, the natural beauty of this woman was really very stunning. I know I should stop staring, it’s not polite and it’s so unlike me. Especially because she fucking catches me every time I do. She doesn’t glare or make me feel like the creeper I must seem right now. She’s not talking and I’m struggling. Fortunately for me the waiter shows up with the food. We eat mostly in silence, I try several times to strike up a conversation on anything that doesn’t have to do with wrestling, politics or religion. I think she finds this as awkward as I do and so I drop the pretense.

“I have a confession to make.”, I say to her in a softer than normal tone. “Oh balls.”, is her reply as she crinkles her nose a bit. “I’m afraid so.”, I say with a small smile. “I suck at this Amber, I’m a widow who hasn’t been on a date in years. I don’t know how to fucking act. It’s frustrating. If it wasn’t awkward before it damn sure is now.”. She stares at me for a moment, the normally hard eyes softening just a bit. “How long has she been gone?”, she asks as quietly as I said it. I look up, hoping the shame in my eyes didn’t show, “About two years now.”. She looks at me, swallowing the lump in her throat, “Survivor’s guilt is a bitch, ya know?”. I look into her eyes, “It is that, and then some.”.

We left the hotel lobby shortly after that and found ourselves outside, just sitting there on the concrete bench. The smells outside were crisp, but heavy, like right before a good rain. As we sit there watching the traffic, each of us trying to figure out what to say. I take my jacket off and lay it across the bench on the right side of me. I glance across the street and in that moment I make eye contact with a certain bald headed man who shouldn’t be there. It was at that moment he ducked into a nearby store and then the rain began to fall. I grabbed my jacket and placed it up over her head to keep her and I as dry as I could. “I won’t melt, ya know?”I smiled at her in that moment, “I know, but it was an excuse to get close.”. It was at that moment that I took a risk, I leaned in close and kissed her and she didn’t flinch, she didn't try to pull away. She kissed me back firmly at first and then hungrily.

Fade

“I think the thing that Su and ZQ don’t realize is that this is one of the few times in my career when I wasn’t the monster. I’ve been called everything but a child of God in my career. The terrible things you hear people say about me are mostly true. Like my father before me and the sons after me, I live and breathe wrestling every single day. I’m a man who believes in honest talk, not propaganda style speeches. I live and die by my word as a man, while yours couldn’t be trusted in the most dire of situations. You’d lie to your own mother, if first and foremost you knew who that was. Secondly if you thought it would grant you more power in this industry. Being a champion is never enough for people like you. I know, I’ve been there and done that. I’ve learned the hard lessons that you learn on that path.

I think if you were to look around at the roster, nearly every single person here has traveled that dark and winding road that you are on. It will end only one way, it always ends the hard way. If it’s the way you’ve chosen then so be it. You’ve been warned, just like The Empty was warned. The thing you, him and others of the same mind all have in common, is that you are now staring into the abyss.I hope that when the abyss stares back into you, that you’re prepared for what is to come. I know you for what you are and who you are. Who you are is simple, delusional children playing an adult game. A game that you cannot hope to win.

What you are is even more simple, you’re the next wannabe monster in line. I’ve already proven I can slay monsters kids, I have a long track record of doing so. I’m a forty four year old athlete in the wrestling business. That should tell you everything you need to know about me and how I handle my business.

Since the first day I stepped into this company, I’ve fought for Carnage and the fans we affectionately call The Legion. A man cornered is not the most dangerous animal, no contrary to popular belief. The most dangerous animal is the one defending its home, you give a man a place to call home and he’ll defend it to his dying breath. This is my home now, as it has been from day one. You’ve fucked with my family, and the family of Jack Michaels and JC. Lucy and Kyra are friends of mine, they are like family to me. Are you beginning to see the predicament you’ve placed yourself in? No? Then perhaps a different color crayon is in order.

This time I’ll use red, maybe you’ll understand that color better. I use red for the blood that I’ve spilled in the past and the blood I’ll spill in the future. I use red for your blood, that’s the way this match for the city’s title ends, your blood on my hands. I do this for Carnage, The Legion and the city of Baltimore. Most importantly I do this for the business that you shat on. The tradition that you pissed on. No one gets to fucking do that while I still breathe, especially not some fucking sociopath who deserves no notiriety at all.

At Chaos I take it all away, the Baltimore City Championship, your notoriety and your pride.